he almost killed himself with Bisquick


fairy-wren:

hybrid macaw

(photo by michael fitzsimmons)


  • mom: you realize normal people don't have such strong feelings about the oxford comma
  • me: THE OXFORD COMMA IS IMPORTANT
  • mom: you realize this makes you a nerd
  • me:
  • mom:
  • me: i had a party with the strippers, george bush and barack obama
  • me: i had a party with the strippers, george bush, and barack obama
  • me: without the comma, you are implying that george bush and barack obama are strippers
  • mom:
  • me:
  • mom: this isn't normal
Via You and I'll be Safe & Sound





"I told you, this isn't a cigarette, It's a lollipop" (Ginpachi-sensei)

(Source: yaoidesu)



(Source: pictochat)




  • (I work in a Coffee Shop. I was on break in the lobby when a couple walks in. Directly behind them is a cute little boy in Batman costume.)
  • Me: “Oh my God! It’s BATMAN!”
  • (The boy stops, strikes a pose and starts looking around menacingly. After a few seconds, he approaches the counter.)
  • Mother: “Jeff, would you like a chocolate milk?”
  • Boy: “I am not Jeff. I am The Batman.”
  • Mother: “The Batman, would you like a chocolate milk?”
  • Boy: “Yes. Yes, The Batman would.”
  • (The couple pays while the boy sits down with his chocolate milk. He keeps a stern look on his face as he sips the drink.)
  • Boy: *sips* “Gotham is safe.”
Via You and I'll be Safe & Sound

teletubbiesmpreg:

pretty much what always happens to me when i go on trollplay as eridan




1451
To Tumblr, Love PixelUnion

We're updating Fluid!

Soon, we'll be updating the look and feel of this theme. Read about the changes here. You can easily turn off this notification in the theme customization panel.

Close